just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
