She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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