Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize