Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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