we have pet lesbian snakes
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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