uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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