i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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