I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
