LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
