I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The struggles of a small town man whore
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
