The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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