I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize