we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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