nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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