before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
