i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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