Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
