Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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