Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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