i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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