I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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