nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
