I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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