I cockslap morals
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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