omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You may now shotgun with the bride
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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