I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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