do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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