I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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