We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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