Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
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My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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