I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
