i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
