covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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