Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
