Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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