its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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