Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
