he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
