so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
