do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
