No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
