we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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