grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
