People in love make me want to vomit
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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