This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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