The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
