I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize