Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
