i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
