i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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