you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
