White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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