physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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