Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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