You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
