TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
