I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
