Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
