Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
