you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
