You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
